HEEEEYYYYYY THERE SPORTS FANS!!!!!
We are here at round 7 of the Northern Wastes league today, coming from the bowl stadium at Karak Eight Peaks. We are seeing the divions leading teams the Glow Worm Goobers and the Granitebeard Grumblers. You couldn’t have asked for better weather for today’s match.
Through the gates today we have a whopping 12,000 fans. I bet those tunic sales are going to be successful today. We have received news that the Goobers have a line up change today, as it seems on route here The Goobers No.1 Grub was invited to take a trip down a troll’s digestive track, that’ll teach them for not bringing enough snacks.
The coin toss is won by the Goobers who have chosen to receive. Grumblers have set up in a central triangle formation with slayers and blitzers to wings and the lone runner in the back. Goobers respond with fanatic central flanked by both trolls, and a triangle formation behind the front line.
Boy the fans are excited for this match (Cheering fans! Goobers get prayer to Nuffle,’Throw rock’). There’s the kick and it’s deep into Goober territory.
GT1. Splatzy spins and throws himself forward taking down Albrec, Thing shunts Kurgin back. Goblins move spread out from behind the trolls ready to swarm whilst Funguy goes for the ball, but he’s miss-timed the bounce and has missed it.
DT1. Grumblers seeing Splatzy out in the open swarm him and send him to the ground and straight to the dug out seeing stars. Kurgin moves forward stunning Donky. Barack and Storaz hang back to cover any break through. Rest of the dwarfs come round the flanks not allowing the Goobers any path through.
GT2. Funguy, gets his bounce right and scoops up the ball, and bounces down central field. Mouldy pushes Thror out of the way whilst Thing looks like he’s contemplating the what he has got stuck between his teeth. The rest of the goobers form barriers for the Grumblers to prevent them getting to the Funguy.
DT2. Thror barges Mouldy’s stomach sending the troll back, Straldur, the Grumblers newest slayer sends Muggsy to the ground. With some fancy footwork Squabble manages to keep on his feet despite Kamnic’s efforts to get him on the ground. Though Kurgin seizes the opportunity and moves up beside Funguy.
GT3. Liggle with some assistance pushes Kurgin back away from Funyguy. The Goobers scurry around the field trying to create an opening. Mouldy rushes at Kamic knocking him to the ground with a backhanded blow.
DT3. Thorif attempts to open up a gap once more by throwing Wreggle to the ground. The slayers are still causing chaos within the goblin line. Straldur catches Muggy a blow across the face sending him to his back, whilst Kamnic, now the Granitebeard’s lead blood spiller sends Squabble to the dugout. He’s out of this game, and more than likely the next. Granitebeards slowly advance robbing the Goobers of manoeuvre space.
GT4. Thing is back to picking something out of his teeth. Wreggle ducks away and runs to give Mouldy a good poking, and it looks like it worked. The troll, thumps Kamnic on the top of his head, and the slayers legs have buckled from underneath him. That dwarf is seeing stars. Liggle leaps on Kurgin and knocks him off balance, making him land heavily on the ground.
DT4. Straldur knocks Muggsy back down to the ground, can’t seem to keep that goblin down.
Gotrimm shoves Donky back. Thror in a fit of what can only be insanity is taking on Mouldy, and by thunder the troll is caught wrong footed and falls to the astrogranite.
GT5. With a grunt Thing swipes at Kurgin, who dodges and manages to stay on his feet. Moudly pulls himself up with some goblin prodding and lunges at the closest dwarf which is unlucky for Thorif who is thrown onto his back. The rest of the goblins form a cage around Funguy.
DT5. The Grumblers are enveloping the Goobers looking to break the cage. Kurgin has given Muggsy a bloody face with his knee, sending him to the dugout. Thorek is laying into Wreggle, and ooh you can hear the break from here. If he does recover that goblin won’t be as nimble (-1 Ag). Funguy is testing his springs avoiding the blows of Straldur, whilst Liggle is laid onto his back with a block from Barak.
What is this, the Albrec the temp has taken down Thing, and he’s not moving. Stretcher bearers are dragging him to the dugout. But looks like his regenerative powers are working, he’ll be back on the pitch at the end of the drive, but I’ll be surprised if Albrec isn’t signed up after this.
GT6. The Goobers are on the back foot now. Mouldy is getting up, can he make a difference? Oh no, Thorif has knocked his arm out from under him sending him back to the ground.
DT6. Grumblers taking advantage of the confusion, Thror sweeps the pogo out from Funguy sending him crashing to the ground and seeing stars. The ball bouncing loose, Targ is shunted up the field staying on his feet but is moved away from the ball. Gromnir weaves and scoops up the ball and moves to the touch line. The Grumblers mark the remaining Goobers.
GT7. With the ball in the dwarf possession the Goobers are trying to hold up the Grumblers, but down on numbers and strength they’re struggling. Seeking an opening, Donky tries to duck away from Kamnic. But the slayer has back handed a blow to stop him. It’s a glancing blow, but it’s thrown Donky off. Can he recover? No, Donky is down.
DT7. Gromnir runs to the touch line, and is only a few strides away now. Straldur knocks down Targ, whilst the rest of the dwarfs cover the rest of the Goobers, some more pleasantly than others.
GT8. The Goobers coach is shouting plays at Mouldy, but the rants of the angry goblin has confused Mouldy who is sitting staring blanky back at him.
DT8. With the Goobers on the floor or in the dugout, Gromnir runs the ball over the chalk seem in the closing seconds of the first half TOUCHDOWN!!!!! There is the half time whistle.
Welcome back sports fans. We’re back in the Karak Eight Peaks stadium where the Granitebeard Grumblers are leading the match against the visiting Glow Worm Goobers. 1-0. There was some controversy earlier in the dug outs with regards to Splatzy after he woke up, but the Goobers coach Scugs Mycguu seems to have settled the discussion. Not that anything illicit goes on here, but our ref looks like he has a new pouch on his belt.
The Goobers have suffered casualties have brought on their reserves, though there does seem to be some interesting items on the field to help level the playing field.
The Goobers have set up with Spalyzy flanked by Mouldy and Thing, with two other goblins on the outside of them. Two goblins behind, one with some form of gardening tool. Three behind them with Kaboomy central and Funguy in the back, they’ve left the wings open.
The Grumblers have responded with a V formation with leaving the very centre free staying clear of Spaltzy, slayers and blitzers to flank and Barak at the rear. The crowd is going wild, and if that glint from Straldur’s hands reveal anything is that he has some new rings (Cheering fans, Straldur gets knuckle dusters).
There is the kick and the wind is blowing against it and landed between Kamnic and Gromnir.
DT1. Barak sprints down the field and scoops up the ball, Kamnic and Gromnir form a wall to shield him.
GT1. Kurgin is knocked to the ground by Mouldy, and Kaboomy has what looks like an explosive at Barak, though it falls short and dwarfen armour takes the shrapnel and Barak manages to resist the blast. Splatzy flings himself around the field and makes Albrec see stars. What’s that sound? Ahh I believe we can see what the gardening tool is, Gushguts is living up to his name by plunging the chainsaw into Kamnic. The slayer is rushed to the dugout, with the stain on the field I don’t think he’ll be ready for the next match. Donky shunts Gromnir back to open a passage to Barak.
DT2. Straldur leaps and knocks Thing back to the floor. The Grumblers start lapping round to the rear of the Goobers, whilst Barak doubles back and moves from the wing to centre.
GT2. Kaboomy lobs another explosive at Barak, but Thorif with some aid jumps and knocks the bomb to the side into a crowd of Grumblers. Dwarfen armour survives against the blast, but Straldur receives a blast to the side of the head and sent to the dugout. Splatzy whirls around the field. Mouldy sends Kurgin to the ground seeing stars, whilst Gushgutz cleaves Gromnir back to the dugout, luckily the armour was thick enough so the wound isn’t too deep. Backed up by team mates Tragga give Kurgin a good kicking.
DT3. The Grumblers are hitting back. Storaz cripples Targ, another for the dugout. The grumblers push the Goobers back, clearing a space, whilst Barak runs down the opposing wing to where the chaos is.
GT3. Tragga keeps getting his boot in to Kurgin, though with less back up he isn’t as affected. Funguy moves back down the field to intercept Barak. Aggie ducks to back up Funguy, but is grabbed and knocked to the floor.
DT4. Thror with a swift knee sends Liggle to the dugout screaming. Thorek smashes Gushguts to the floor pushing the chainsaw into the goblin’s chest, he won’t be back on a pitch any time soon. Barak speeds down the wing with Storaz as a guard. Kurgin sends an elbow into Tragga, knocking the goblin out cold. Spurred on by his success against Thing, Albrec catches Splatzy’s chain and sends him back with it.
GT4. Kaboomy chucks a bomb at Barak, though the throw is short, though catches Storaz who falls to the floor in a daze. Donky dodges and is on Barak’s heels. Funguy bounces over to plough into Barak. But his pole sinks into the earth and bounces off Barak’s arm both down re-rolled to both down).
DT5. Barak gives a back elbow to Donky and sprints over the touchline. TOUCHDOWN!!!! 2-0 to the Grumblers.
The referee is having words with Kaboomy and is sending him off the pitch. Scugs Mycguu is shouting at the ref, but oh dear, security is coming and escorting them off the pitch with Splatzy and Gushguts in tow. The remaining four goblins are squabbling amongst themselves whilst the trolls are comparing the contents of their various orifices.
The Goobers without their coach can’t seem to agree and have conceded the match. That means of course the Grumblers are awarded another touchdown, and is awarded to Gromnir Stoneshoulder. By the sounds of the crowd they aren’t happy, some of the Goobers’s fans are hurling abuse before leaving.
Well that’s it for this match 3-0 to the Granitebeard Grumblers.